I didn't even have time to miss Alec! Usually during the week we try to plan something or we text all day. But sometimes i'd get too wrapped up into my essay's or he'd be working on a project too. Things were just completely off! I did get to hang out with him Friday though. He's slowly but surely learning how my mind works. Although around every corner he surprises me I think i'm starting too catch on too. Our whole seven months together I could never get him to comfort or reassure me. We always fought about that, about how it made me look selfish and how it made him look like a jerk. But he finally got it! I was so thrilled. I love him to death but he also frustrates me. If he asks me a question that I don't know how to answer he gets upset. I don't know what to tell him! I can't just make up an answer when I don't even understand the question. People always say "yeah he's cute but he's way too full of himself" well I have the opposite problem. Alec is so cute but he will not take a compliment. EVER. He believes he doesn't have an imagination but he can repair a SAAB from the early 1900's! He has the capability of being everything I say he is and that I see in him. But he won't see it. I don't know if he just refuses to look or if he really just doesn't notice his talents. He wants me to learn how to drive stick and he thinks he's going to teach me. But if he's not patient enough to teach me what things do what in his car how is he going to have the patience to help me learn stick?! I don't know what to tell him anymore. He hasn't had a really bad mood for a while, but I got one today. I can either leave (bad) or be patient (good). But I don't want to have to always do that. It's not fair that when i'm in a bad mood he goes running for the hills, But when he's in a bad mood I try even more for him. Bleh.
I'm reading a new book. Well it's kind of new, it's called "love the one you're with" by emily giffin. Its way good so far! I'm sucked in for sure, which is good cause I haven't found a good book in what seems like forever! Its about a woman named Ellen that is recently married to her best friends brother Andy. Everything is perfect. Too perfect. One day Ellen runs into her ex , Leo. She gets hit with old memories and feelings and its stuck in her head and she starts to question everything about her and Andy's marriage. The only pitfall for me is that its a lot of flash backs and thinking. Which can get confusing and boring! I like reading conversations more for some reason? Maybe its not just me.
Drill try-outs are the last week of February into the first week of March! Its over a month sooner then Syracuse High's dance try outs! I am starting to get nervous! I'm switching to Monday afternoon private lessons with my coach Heather. She is amazing and she was on a High School drill team too! So she has a better idea of what they will be doing at try-outs! I was watching a couple videos on youtube of drill try-outs and it made it all just that much more real! Brigitte, (step mom) is going to talk to Heather tomorrow and see if she thinks I actually have a chance of getting on the team. If she says yes I am going to start dancing two hours on Mondays! Its such a long time!!! It will prepare me but i'm going to be dead! I already die after one hour.
This week is end of term and my grades aren't cutting it.. at all. I have to talk to my teachers about bringing my grades up. At least I know I can bring two of my C's up. Its my Geometry F thats mostly killing me. It always will, I can't wait until i'm out of that class! I just wish my teacher would help me. But no, she's too busy chattin' it up with her basketball girls. How fair is that? Aren't teachers there to support and help you through the difficult things? I know I catch on to math a little slow and I probably drop the average of my classes test scores but I know for a fact i'm not the only one. But it takes 3 girls to say "I don't understand this" for her to get through her head that we need time to review! Not just learn learn learn until the day before the test.
I don't know if i'm ready for this week. At all.
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