"just admit it to yourself, it can't happen"

My boyfriend told me this after I told him I was sad and heart broken from our fight. I said I  just want him to hold me, thats when he said "Well just admit it to yourself, it can't happen". What a sweetheart right? We've been fighting so much lately. I hate it. So freaking bad. 


I told Koty I would wait for him while he's on his mission. Keep myself clean, for him. Yeah right. I wanted too. Until I found out he's been kissing other girls. Whats the point of waiting? /: Oh maybe cause i'm completely and undeniably in love with this boy.


One way or another i'm going to get hurt.

1. Koty is going to come back and not want me. We're going to talk more when he's gone then when how much we do now. Weekly sounds a lot better then every few months..
2. Alec and I are going to break up. Even though i'm the one who has to break up with him.. Or so he says.
3. I'm going to have too choose. Choose between Alec and Koty. Break someones heart. How do you choose between the two boys your in love with? Is it possible? Is either choice right?

I don't know what i'm going to do.